As young people, neither Gary ’65 nor Dianne Abuelo ’65 had any intention of becoming a physician. But college classmates led them to consider the field of medicine and NYU School of Medicine in particular. This led to a multi-decade, cross-continental partnership. Gary became a nephrologist, Dianne a geneticist, and the couple grew their careers and their family while continually giving back to their alma mater.
The path to medical school
The son of immigrants, Gary studied physics at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and envisioned an engineering career after graduation. A classmate planned to go to medical school and got him thinking about studying medicine. Dianne, the first in her family to attend college, went to Brandeis University and majored in chemistry. She didn’t realize that women could become doctors until her best friend, Rita, revealed her plans to study medicine and set up Dianne with an opportunity to observe surgery performed by a female ophthalmologist at Baylor University.
“It hadn’t occurred to me, but then I saw it was possible,” says Dianne.
Beginnings in New York City
They started off at NYU School of Medicine, and the transition to big city life was tough, but the school provided a welcoming presence for Gary and Dianne.
“Our professors were truly interested in us, the classes were well organized, we had a Nobel Prize winner teaching us biochemistry, and I was able to meet other women who wanted to be physicians,” remembers Dianne. “There were only 17 or so women in the class, but that was more than in other medical schools at that time.”
Their friendship started early in their first year in histology class when Dianne’s microscope arrived late; Gary noticed she didn’t have one and kindly offered to share his.
“The rest is history,” says Gary.
Both Gary and Dianne worked at various jobs throughout their four years. For the last two years, Dianne lived at the VA Hospital and started her day drawing blood from 12 of their patients. Then she walked down to University Hospital and drew some more blood. Then she’d go to her clinical rotation at Bellevue Hospital and draw blood from her patients. If other students had trouble drawing blood, she’d help with that.
After working late nights as a lab technician, Gary would often fall asleep in class and Dianne would lend him her notes so he could see what he had missed.
“I owe my marriage to the fact that my handwriting was legible,” Dianne jokes.
Careers in medicine and lives abroad
Over time, the Abuelos’ relationship blossomed. They understood each other’s stresses, were there for each other in times of need, and complemented their respective career paths and goals.
One week after graduation, Gary and Dianne married and set off to Mexico on a honeymoon, the first of many international adventures that would highlight their 60-plus years together.
Their internships were in New York, followed by Gary’s military duty in Washington, DC, during the Vietnam War, a move to Boston, volunteering for the Peace Corps in Latin America, a stint back in Washington, and then fellowships in Paris.
At each step, Gary and Dianne supported each other’s careers and found work where their partner was stationed. Dianne gave birth to their first child in Boston and the family moved to Peru six weeks later. They were there for about a year before transferring to Chile, where their second child was born.
“The hospital went on strike the day after I gave birth,” Dianne recalls. “We had to sneak out through a side entrance because the hospital was surrounded by police and nobody was allowed in or out.” This daughter eventually grew up to become a physician herself.
After moving 10 times in the first 10 years of marriage, they settled permanently in Rhode Island, halfway between Gary’s family in New York and Dianne’s in Boston. “When we got to Rhode Island, we said ‘We ain’t leaving!’” recalls Dianne.
Paths forward in academic medicine
Their time abroad puzzled many of their colleagues, but Gary and Dianne were set on living engaging, adventurous lives. When Gary established himself in nephrology and Dianne in genetics, they challenged themselves intellectually, entering academic medicine, digging into the difficult cases in their disciplines, and teaching the next generation of physicians.
When it came time for him to retire at age 65, Gary started asking his retired colleagues how they were spending their time: golf, piano, and learning Aramaic were some of the answers. None of these appealed to him, so he continued working for another 15 years.
“I just enjoyed my contact with trainees, with my colleagues, the ability to do research. And I’m glad I worked the extra years,” says Gary.
A desire to give back
After successful careers and six decades together, Gary and Dianne look at their time at NYU School of Medicine as the jumping off point for the contributions they were able to make in medicine.
After graduation, Gary’s mother started a scholarship fund for NYU medical students in honor of Gary’s father, an orphan who immigrated alone from Mexico at age 16. Gary and Dianne took up the mantle shortly thereafter, contributing to the Joseph G. Abuelo Memorial Scholarship, and started their own fund in addition.
“Neither of our families could afford the expenses of medical school, but we received several scholarships during our time at NYU, which has motivated us to contribute now,” says Gary. “We were very pleased when NYU Grossman School of Medicine announced its decision to completely eliminate tuition. It’s a huge benefit that allows students who don’t have a wealthy background to attend school there.”
“I feel that NYU prepared us very well for everything that came afterward, and we are grateful for the opportunity to give back,” says Dianne.